I came to this space a bit reluctant.
Even though I have journaled my entire life, I found it difficult to understand how this group would improve or change my personal reflections.
I am a private person, and I do not like to share my thoughts with anyone unless I trust them wholeheartedly. I mainly write for myself not for exhibition.
I do not publish work, nor do I actively seek out opportunities to do so.
I am also shy and self-conscious about what I write and how I write. So, it was hard for me to hear the voices of people unknown to me mirror and echo my words in a group setting.
And because the bulk of my writing experience has taken place in a professional setting, grammar and how it is effectively applied has mainly been the focus.
But writing with this group is different. It has offered me a new perspective on my own life’s journey.
I have learned to be less critical of myself and recognize when I am not serving that goal.
The drive to meet society’s expectations of me has made way for something more important.
This space has allowed me the freedom to explore new ways of communicating. It has taught me to accept how I arrive and how I choose to express myself.
I can only relate this experience to a stream of consciousness. There are no pretenses here.
The rigid structures that confine language and self-expression no longer serve as barriers.
Vulnerability is a superpower.
I did not think I would get any more from this group than I did writing for myself, but I was wrong.
Writing words down may not have been the actual revelation, but sharing the words aloud with this group has been the transformation of a lifetime.
It has been so interesting to unapologetically arrive at tears, which is something that I often denied myself.
Yet for some reason, reading the words I have poured onto a page to people who, for the most part, are strangers to me, has helped me process the experiences to write about. It has helped me gain a better understanding of myself and offered clarity.
And not just my words, but I see parts of myself unfold in the journeys of others in the group. I find myself revealed in their words too.
We all have paths that leads to healing, this is mine.
CSCLA’s weekly Creative Writing Group takes place every Wednesday over Zoom from 1-3PM.
To learn more about the Writing Group and how to join, click HERE.
